is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize