if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Use "feeling words"
Yay
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
