dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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