I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
