I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
