imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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