No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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