Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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