Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
