i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
