we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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