actually, I'm a sock model
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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