I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
