i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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