you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
