Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
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