shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
