Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize