My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
