Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
