Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm bleeding and have questions
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
