i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
