Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
