My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
