If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
