I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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