It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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