I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
foreskin is a definite game changer
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize