i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
