I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
