i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
being pregnant is like rehab
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Randomize
