i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize