I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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