Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
