dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
