You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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