He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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