Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize