Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
