Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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