he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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