yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I think I sprained my soul last night
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
