He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
