Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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