perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
