Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
