At least make sure they are 18
Why
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
