I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
