What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
