remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
