Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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