my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
