but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i just google imaged poop.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
