Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
