I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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