I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize