All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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