you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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