I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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