hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
