i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
