sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Randomize
