I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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