would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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