I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
false alarm, still single
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