We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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