Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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