...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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