I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
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