Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
