your room smells of hookers.
And success
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
