if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
