He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize