Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
