You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
