I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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