Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Randomize
