Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
