I want to make a zoo with you.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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