I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
