if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
